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A Tank Overflowing

"There are far, far better things ahead than we ever leave behind." - C.S. Lewis

While I usually start out my posts with a story of some kind, tonight--er, this morning, I can't seem to pick out just one from the stressful blur that was this past week. And so, it is at 3:34 AM that I write, with no specific scenario in particular to reference to, only a simple message that I, and unexpected others, have had to make known to myself: You MUST appreciate and love yourself before you'll have any chances at loving and appreciating others as you should.

I know this sounds rehearsed and cliché, but hear me out on this one.

If you try to place your worth and validity in your accomplishments, you'll find none.
If you try to place your worth and validity into others, you'll, again, be disappointed.
And if you try to squeeze your worth and validity into the three fragile sheets of an application, you'll soon find yourself wondering, why did I even try. Why am I  not good enough?

Now, striving for success, meaningful relationships, and recognition where it's deserved isn't evil by any means. It's human nature, and, being a human, I've tried to do all of these things before. However, the motivation behind these pursuits is key.

If you try to drive your vehicle on an empty tank, you'll soon find yourself going absolutely nowhere. And filling up a glass with an empty pitcher just doesn't work. Before you can experience the joy of recognition and genuine care from others, you must first feel these things for yourself, from your own heart. You are your second biggest cheerleader. You've seen your growth, the trials you've been able to endure, the hurdles you never thought you'd clear. These things - these beautiful milestones in life that make living such a priceless journey - these things are what you must see and smile at from time to time.

In this life, you're going to just miss the mark every now and then. You're going to see relationships break and fall apart. You'll see applications turned down, words never acknowledged, attempts miserably fail. And being the perfectionist I am, you can believe me when I say that these moments will break your heart and make you question the point in all of these struggles. You'll block out the people that do love you, the things you have achieved, the marks that you have made.

But you mustn't dwell on these things. You can't lose sight of the great strides you've made, the love that surrounds you that you may not even be aware of. For some, and maybe even for you, simply living is an achievement, and honey, that should be celebrated! Look at where you are. Look at how far you've come.

I've made so many mistakes. I've had to let go of so many things; people and materials alike. But as I look back, I realize that there is so much to be happy about. And now, looking ahead, I can show this same joyful love and appreciation to the people I know and the people I have yet to meet. My gas tank isn't empty, nor is my pitcher.

First, you must embrace yourself. Only then will your embraces to others be genuine.

Don't forget this. Please, don't forget.

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